


And It's Real

by howelllesters



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU where d&p grew up together, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Ed Sheeran-inspired, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 08:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9226907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howelllesters/pseuds/howelllesters
Summary: Drabble fic inspired by/based on Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran.





	

A hand creeps through the grass to slide over Dan’s, a cold palm resting gently on his. The blades between his splayed fingers tickle, and he feels the goosebumps on his one-time lover’s arm brush against his own as a strong breeze blows in from the west, turning their heads as one to watch the sun die away behind the rolling fields of North England.  
  
“Come and watch the sunset with me,” Phil had asked, and how could Dan ever say no to him? ‘One last time, before this ends,’ were the words he didn’t have to add on.  
  
So here they find themselves, sleeves of their t-shirts billowing as they sit side by side at the top of their favourite hill, the one they’ve been visiting together for as long as they can remember. The greenery of the countryside is blackened by the fire that streaks across the sky, the angry gold and burnt orange fading into a burgundy on the horizon. It is a view that Dan is all too familiar with, and yet one that still awes him each time he comes up here to watch.  
  
This hill in particular was one they found a few years after they began coming down here, led astray by Phil’s older brother and his friends. They were only a few years older than Dan and Phil, still a year or so away from secondary school, but when they came down here doing tricks on their fancy bikes and drinking fizzy drinks that their parents didn’t know about, they seemed like the coolest group of people in the world to two wide-eyed six year olds.  
  
Of course, eager to copy his brother, Phil had brought his bike one day too, marched it all the way to the top of the hill with the intention of doing a wheelie right the way down. That was, until his brother and a few of his friends had chased him, and Phil’s legs couldn’t keep up with how fast his body was going, scrambling beneath him until he was falling, rolling down and down and down, as Dan could only watch, horrified, from the bottom.  
  
In time they would laugh about the broken leg, and the grass stains on Phil’s clothes that were so deeply embedded, no amount of washing cleared the green. The way Phil had landed with a soft _flump_ at the bottom of the hill, grass in his hair, in his shoes, in his mouth.  
  
They had moved to a smaller hill after that, the very same hill they sat on now. Eventually Phil’s brother and his friends stopped coming, and Dan and Phil brought their own friends instead. Lazy weekend afternoons doing homework in the sun and playing chase around the sprawling fields led to hyped up Friday nights, twenty or so teenagers hanging around in the dark, drinking, swearing, kissing, crying.  
  
Lighters nicked from older cousins used to start pitiful bonfires, that roared for an hour before dying into a charcoal heap, until the only light came from the moon on a clear night, and the dim glow of flip phone screens. Games of truth or dare played in the freezing cold, biting wind making eyes water, smudging eyeliner, but a sloppy make out could warm a person up again.  
  
This was where Dan and Phil had first kissed. They were both a little tipsy, as tipsy as sixteen year olds could get on alcopops bought for them by siblings using other people’s fake IDs, but giggles weren’t so bad when you were having the world’s worst kiss. It was uneventful, and nothing special; who needs special when you’re finally confessing your love for the boy you’ve loved since you were five years old, the boy you threw a crayon at in year one and found yourself inseparable with ever since.  
  
A kiss led to a fumble, led to them sloping off into the nearby woods to get off against a tree, rough and uncomfortable but feeling like the sexiest thing in the whole damn world at the time. Until someone comes pelting down from the field, yelling about the police showing up, and then they were running, hand in hand, through a pitch black forest, dead phones, bare arms, flushed cheeks.  
  
They slept in the same bed together that night, and they’d done it so many times before, but something was so very different now. Dan remembers falling asleep after Phil, brushing his long fringe from his eyes and wondering whether you could fall in love with someone at sixteen and still be with them at sixty.  
  
At eighteen, you certainly could. You could be madly, desperately in love, still sidling up to that same hill together, the one no one ever revisited after the incident with the police, no one besides them. It was their hill, and it had always been, and even though they were heading to university now, putting distance between them, going back to the hill always, almost, made it feel like nothing had changed at all.  
  
The nights on the hill had turned into nights at the club, with forged passports and paint stripper bottled and sold as the only spirits they could afford on the sorry wages of those who were lucky enough to find jobs at the local pubs. Money was money though, alcohol was alcohol, and as long as there was always someone willing to go sober, there would always be a road trip ahead, speeding round the winding lanes of the countryside at well over the speed limit, music blaring from beat up old cars that had a few too many scratches on the mirrors, a eclectic mix of classic eighties and alternative punk.  
  
Dan could not remember a happier time than growing up in this village, and he could not remember a sadder time than leaving it. The inevitable breakup, the goodbyes to friends, and family, and their hill. The forlorn drive to uni by himself after one too many arguments, the way Phil wasn’t there to wave him off because they hadn’t spoken in two months.  
  
It seemed like the further he drove away from his hill, the lower his spirits were. Big city universities weren’t meant for small village kids, and his hill, his friends, the giddy, drunken memories of poorly rolled cigarettes and failed bonfires, they started to seem like a dream amongst the harsh realities of student life.  
  
And then it was over, and it was time to go home, but home didn’t feel like home anymore, but neither did university.  
  
He’d tried to catch up with his old group of friends, figure out what he’d missed in the years he’d been away, but the changes all seemed too much. The budding drummer was working in a clothes shop, two others already surrounded by a broken family, the rest scattered around the country. It was a sad state of affairs, and yet Dan yearned to see them all again, if only to re-live the most glorious of youths spent larking around in a field.  
  
And so he’d driven home anyway, same old battered car, same old music playing, because maybe if he built everything up right, he’d find something, anything waiting for him back home that might give him a clue where he was going next.  
  
Nothing had been waiting for him though, nothing at all. With a weary heart and a head full of unanswered questions, he’d headed to the hill, hoping the sunset might give something back to him once more. It was lonely, walking there by himself, and he nearly turned back several times. The paths that had once seemed gilded with gold were mere gravel now, the flowers that showed him the way to another world just overgrown weeds. The greens were duller, the colours greyer, and Dan had found himself so hopelessly lost until he found exactly what he hadn’t realised he’d been looking for.  
  
He did not catch the sunset that evening, but thinking back, he imagined that he and his former lover entangled in each other’s arms made for quite the silhouette.  
  
And now here they are again, after journeying back once more. Familiar grass beneath their hands, same views three years later. They always seek out the hill, whether alone or together, because something about it calls to them. The magic they made here perhaps still lingers on the clovers underfoot or the fence posts they leaned against too many times to remember.  
  
“Do you miss it?” Phil whispers, as the sun disappears for good.  
  
“Always,” Dan whispers back, squeezing the hand atop his own.  
  
He misses the memories. He doesn’t miss the uncertainties. He’s glad the best part of those summers still sits next to him now.  
  
Three summers they have been back here now, and they’ve finally made the decision that has always seemed so unavoidable, and yet was so terrifying to confirm.  
  
“We had so much fun,” Phil sighs wistfully, and Dan knows he is replaying the same memories in his own head that Dan has been rewinding for several days now.  
  
A whirlwind of laughter and tears and sweat and fears, wrapped up into one and signified by the crest of the hill they sit on now, where the ground is getting damp beneath them, and the lilac sky is rapidly turning violet.  
  
Was this it then? Was this the end of those days?”  
  
“More to come though,” Dan says, hesitantly but hopefully.  
  
His finger moves to trace the gold band that Phil wears on his left hand, matching the one on his own, and Phil turns to him, smiles.  
  
They sit like that another hour or more, holding each other close, counting the dots of headlights on the highway that leads out of the town. It’s been a busy day; tomorrow will only be busier so. The day they leave behind the children that became friends, became lovers in these very fields, become men who never plan to leave.

**Author's Note:**

> Heard the song, had to write. I should state that I do not condone most of the behaviour mentioned in this, i.e. irresponsible driving, underage drinking/smoking, trespassing etc.
> 
> Thank you to @kaonashidan for his initial thoughts and encouragement on this, to @fcxjumper for their amendments and cheerleading, and to @oftenoverlaps for the mega beta. I am so very lucky to have the wonderful friends I do <3


End file.
